Every roleplay community has rules - but there's also a layer of unwritten expectations that experienced writers follow instinctively. These aren't arbitrary social conventions; they're practices that make collaboration smoother, stories better, and partnerships more enjoyable. Whether you're new to play-by-post or a veteran looking to refine your approach, understanding these etiquette guidelines will make you a better writing partner.

The Foundation: Respect and Communication

All roleplay etiquette flows from one principle: respect your partners as creative collaborators. They're investing time and emotional energy into a shared story. Every etiquette guideline exists because ignoring it wastes that investment or makes collaboration frustrating. When in doubt about any situation, ask yourself: 'Am I treating my partner the way I'd want to be treated?'

Core Principles

Clear Communication

Say what you need, ask questions when unsure, and don't assume your partner can read your mind.

Mutual Investment

Both writers should contribute equally to moving the story forward. Don't leave all the work to your partner.

Flexibility

Be willing to compromise on plot directions. The best stories come from collaboration, not one person's vision.

Reliability

Do what you say you'll do. Post when you say you will. If circumstances change, communicate promptly.

Separation of IC/OOC

Characters aren't their writers. Don't take in-character conflict personally, and don't use IC actions to express OOC frustration.

Graceful Endings

If a roleplay isn't working, communicate honestly rather than ghosting. Everyone deserves closure.

Posting Etiquette

How you write and structure your posts directly impacts your partner's ability to respond. Good posting etiquette makes collaboration easier; poor posting creates frustration and can kill stories before they really begin.

Posting Best Practices

•Match your partner's length approximately - drastically shorter posts feel dismissive; drastically longer can overwhelm
•Always give your partner something to respond to - end with an action, question, or situation that invites reaction
•Include a mix of action, dialogue, and internal thoughts to create texture
•Describe your character's observable actions and expressions, not just internal states
•Avoid ending posts with your character walking away, falling asleep, or otherwise closing the scene
•Proofread before posting - errors distract from the story and suggest lack of care
•Use clear formatting to distinguish dialogue, thoughts, and actions
•If you need to describe something that happened offscreen, use brackets or separate it clearly

The Cardinal Sins: Godmodding and Metagaming

Two behaviors will get you labeled as a bad partner faster than anything else: godmodding and metagaming. Understanding what these mean and why they're problems is fundamental to roleplay etiquette.

What to Avoid

Godmodding

Controlling other players' characters without permission. This includes writing their actions, reactions, thoughts, or dialogue. If it's not your character, don't write it.

Metagaming

Having your character act on information they couldn't know. If it was shared OOC or in another thread, your character doesn't know it unless they learned it IC.

Auto-hitting

In combat, describing your attacks as automatically successful. 'She swung her sword at his neck' is fine; 'She decapitated him' is not.

Puppeting NPCs

Taking control of shared NPCs without permission. If an NPC is community property, check before having them do something significant.

Plot Hijacking

Dramatically changing the story direction without partner buy-in. Major twists should be discussed OOC first.

Main Character Syndrome

Making every scene about your character. Roleplay is collaborative - share the spotlight.

Communication Etiquette

Good OOC communication is just as important as good IC writing. Most roleplay problems could be prevented or resolved through clear, honest communication. Don't assume - ask. Don't hint - state. Don't vanish - explain.

Communication Guidelines

•Discuss major plot points before implementing them, especially anything that significantly affects your partner's character
•If you'll be unavailable, let your partners know in advance - a quick message prevents days of wondering
•Be honest about your posting capacity. It's better to set realistic expectations than to over-promise and disappoint
•If something in the roleplay bothers you OOC, address it directly rather than trying to fix it through IC actions
•Ask for feedback periodically - are your partners enjoying the direction? Is there something they'd like more or less of?
•When giving feedback, be constructive. 'I'd love more dialogue from your character' works better than 'Your posts are boring'
•Celebrate good moments together. A quick 'That post was amazing!' goes a long way
•If you need to step away from a roleplay, explain why if comfortable, and offer to help wrap up ongoing threads

Response Time Etiquette

Response time is one of the most common sources of roleplay friction. Different people have different availability and different preferences. The key is setting clear expectations upfront and communicating when those expectations can't be met.

Timing Guidelines

•Discuss expected response frequency before starting a roleplay - daily? Every few days? Weekly?
•If you advertise a certain frequency, maintain it. Consistent slow replies are better than erratic fast ones
•Don't push partners to respond faster than agreed. Pressure creates stress and kills enjoyment
•If you'll miss your usual timing, send a quick OOC message. 'Busy week, will reply by Friday' is all you need
•Be understanding when partners have delays - real life should always take priority over roleplay
•If a partner consistently can't meet agreed frequency, have an honest conversation about adjusting expectations
•Don't passive-aggressively 'bump' threads or hint that you're waiting. Direct communication is always better
•If a partner ghosts, give them grace period before reaching out, then accept that some people won't respond

Handling Sensitive Content

Roleplay often explores difficult themes - conflict, violence, emotional distress, romance. Handling these topics ethically requires consent, communication, and respect for boundaries. What's comfortable for one person may be triggering for another.

Sensitive Content Guidelines

•Discuss content boundaries before starting - what's off-limits? What requires warning?
•Use content warnings when posts contain potentially triggering material
•Respect 'fade to black' requests without question or pressure
•Check in during intense scenes - 'Is this okay?' 'Should we pull back?'
•If a scene becomes uncomfortable, you can always request a pause or redirect
•Never use sensitive content as surprise 'gotcha' moments without prior discussion
•Remember that boundaries can change - something okay before might not be okay now
•Clearly separate fantasy from reality, especially for darker themes

Group Roleplay Etiquette

Group roleplay adds complexity. Instead of coordinating with one partner, you're coordinating with several - each with their own schedules, preferences, and expectations. Good group etiquette keeps everyone engaged and prevents common problems.

Group Dynamics

Post Order Respect

In established post orders, wait your turn. Posting out of order leaves people behind and creates confusion.

Inclusive Writing

Acknowledge all characters present. Don't write extended one-on-one exchanges that exclude other players.

Scene Management

If a scene is dragging, discuss OOC about time-skipping or splitting. Don't let one scene hold up the whole story.

Cross-Posting

In fast-moving scenes, coordinate to avoid contradictory posts. When conflicts happen, work together to reconcile.

Absence Protocol

If a player goes silent, the group should agree on how to handle their character - NPC them? Write them out temporarily?

Drama Containment

If you have issues with a specific player, handle it privately. Don't air grievances in group spaces.

Community Etiquette

If you're part of a larger roleplay community, additional etiquette applies. Communities have cultures, hierarchies, and shared expectations that individual roleplays don't. Being a good community member means more than just being a good writing partner.

Community Guidelines

•Read and follow community rules, even the ones that seem unnecessary - they exist for a reason
•Respect staff decisions even when you disagree - if you have concerns, address them through proper channels
•Don't bring drama from other communities or platforms into your current one
•Contribute positively - help new members, participate in events, engage in OOC chat
•Don't poach players or advertise competing communities without permission
•Give feedback constructively through appropriate channels, not public complaints
•If you're leaving, do so gracefully. Wrap up threads, say goodbyes, don't burn bridges
•Remember that staff are volunteers doing unpaid work. Treat them with appreciation

When Things Go Wrong

Even with perfect etiquette, things sometimes go wrong. Partners have conflicts, stories stall, people vanish. How you handle these situations determines whether you maintain your reputation as a good partner.

Handling Problems Gracefully

•Address issues early. Small problems become big problems when left to fester
•Assume good intent first. Most etiquette violations come from inexperience, not malice
•Be direct but kind. 'Your posts have been short lately - is everything okay?' opens conversation
•If direct conversation fails, it's okay to end the roleplay. Not all partnerships work
•Don't badmouth former partners. The community is smaller than you think
•Learn from bad experiences. What red flags did you miss? What would you do differently?
•If you were the problem, own it. Apologize sincerely and demonstrate change
•Some situations require walking away. Protect your mental health over any story

The Golden Rule of Roleplay

All etiquette ultimately comes down to one principle: be the partner you'd want to have. Write posts you'd enjoy responding to. Communicate the way you'd want to be communicated with. Respect boundaries the way you'd want yours respected. Handle problems the way you'd want problems with you handled. If everyone approached roleplay this way, there would be no need for etiquette guides at all.

The roleplay community is built on trust between strangers who share a love of collaborative storytelling. Every positive interaction strengthens that community; every negative one erodes it. By following these etiquette guidelines, you're not just being a good partner - you're helping maintain a creative space where everyone can tell the stories they want to tell.